Friday, December 30, 2016

Aiden's Footprint

When you haven’t had your own children and now your friend’s kids are graduating from college and getting married and their proud photos boast on face book they’re grandparents for the third time, a sense of separation and loss continues to laugh in my face. Not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because now and then I’m reminded that my activities and conversations remain different and that is simply our childless reality.

The other funny thing that happens is it appears our friends with kids have lived a lifetime while ours has stood still. Sometimes I wonder what our life would’ve been like had children entered on the scene. Would my husband and I have been able to break the bad parts of our family habits while embracing the good? Would we’ve learned how to have a pillow fight or take our kids hiking? Would we have enjoyed family game nights? Played tricks on each other? Created traditions like taco night? Would we’ve been rigid parents? Or would we have seen the world through our children’s childlike wonder?

Infertility closed that window around fifteen years ago so it’s hard to know what we would’ve been like, but that’s okay now because our routine revolves around other things.