Saturday, January 17, 2015

Keeping It Simple

Regardless of one lay-off after another, for some reason bills, taxes and car repairs don't end. On a bad day I feel enslaved to some of these challenges.  

Is life unfolding in a neat little package like you envisioned, or does it feel like bedlam some days? Do you ever wonder if you're making a difference? Doing "it" right, whatever "it" is? I don't know about you, but I have had all sorts of creative ideas floating in my head and heart. Some have come to fruition, but others feel like a run away dream. As time chips away I get more impatient, scared, frustrated, uncertain. Some days I wonder if I read the wrong road map.

As the dream-wreck piles up, I question, what was "it" suppose to look like? In my head it [life] was suppose to be easy and simple, instead it got complicated. Or so it appears.

Truthfully, the lay-offs, life challenges and broken dreams do create a mess, a loss and upsets the order of "simple". Kind of can't avoid that. However, I am thinking perhaps this is not the same as "complicated."

So I wonder, did my life get complicated or have I put an unrealistic expectation on myself which has made my life feel complicated? Perhaps I need to lighten my emotional load by lightening up on myself [my expectations].

During this season I feel like I'm not contributing and have absolutely nothing left to offer. My prayers can be pretty raw and honest [well He made me that way], as I ask for this mess to make sense. I prayed, how can I do anything to help others when everything keeps breaking. Prayerfully I conclude I have nothing left to give.

Then a friend invites me to a special event in her life. She glows, "You have no idea how much you mean to me and what you've done for me." 

Hydrangea, Tammy Sue Willey

I'm thinking, I haven't known this person all that long. I said, "I haven't done anything." 

Tears pooled in her eyes as she stated, "You have always been encouraging which has helped me get through the day. Some days it was just your smile that pulled me through." 

She concludes, "You have lifted me up in ways you will never know.

She is absolutely correct, I have no idea how I did that. I have felt like a flop, like I'm failing, like I have nothing to offer these days, like I'm going backward, not forward.

Tammy Sue Willey, Snowberry Clearwing Hummingbird
Snowberry Clearwing Hummingbird
During this crucial time when I needed "something" to make sense, God not only answered my prayer, but used both her and me to lift each other up. While nothing looked like it was going how I thought it should go in my life, God reminded me that His plan was working just fine. I may have "stuff" going on, but the plan is still simple. Brighten someones day. It is not complicated.


Linda Loegel said...

Tammy Sue, you did it again--a beautiful, honest, heart-felt letter to the world and to God. Thank you for reminding us that God is always in charge and has plans for us that we might not see right away. Your biggest strength is your ability to bring joy to others and you do it with a heart full of love.

Anonymous said...

So as I started to read I felt my heart sadden.
My thoughts immediately a vision of sitting with soul mates in a warm comfortable safe home.
A home elegant and relaxed.
A place I had waited to sit and share with for over a year.
Simple, Safe, and comfortable.
Your words frustrated my thoughts of the relationship you both share with God.
Stop... Rewind
New thoughts as I read on feeling refreshed.
So I wonder ....God wouldn't send his Angels to guide others driving up in a 2015 Porsche would he.
Or by ensuring they reaped all the riches of Kings.
I believe he would fill their pack backs with...a book to share, a garden of vegetables and flowers, a voice of music, gifts of a few dollars for his children to smile, a store called "Target"still open while others closed, sounds like all these were/are the gifts you continually give.
Is this "BLOG" you share a way to show others "Believe" & "Lead""Others" to "God."
One soul, One second, One moment, One gift from you, One at a time.
"Layoffs,Bills,and Questions of Doubt."
My thoughts of our of a childhood story.
Lions, Tigers, & Bears..Oh My..
Yet she enters a valley of uncertainty, challenges, fear, darkness, while always moving with one purpose.
To get Home..
Safe, Simple, & Comfortable...
Oh my..
With Love..